What would be better than thinking or saying “It is what it is”?
As I wrote in my April 9th post, the above line is victim thinking.
It leaves little room for hope, change or action.
People say it to shrug and give in to what they think is unchangeable reality.
What would be better?
It occurred to me like a flash of inspiration that this line would be more accurate and empowering: “It is what you accept.”
You can do it!
In other words, reality is what you accept.
“It is what you accept.”
Someone asked me about the phrase, “It is what I decide.”
“Decide” could work, except it’s not entirely true.
I had two friends die within a week, one totally unexpected.
If I could “decide,” I would decide to have them live.
I can’t do that.
But I can accept their passing.
“It is what I accept.”
By accepting what I can’t change, I still live in agreed upon reality while acknowledging my power in the acceptance.
It’s a bit like the famous advice known as The Serenity Prayer:
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
- The courage to change the things I can,
- And the wisdom to know the difference.
While most people associate the famous prayer with AA, it actually came out of a struggle in politics against evil.
According to Susan Cheever, “…it may come as a surprise to learn that the prayer was originally conceived not as an antidote to addiction but in response to the barbaric evil of Nazi Germany that threatened civilization itself during World War II. Written during the darkest depths of the war by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, a first-generation German-American, the prayer captured the dreadful ethical predicament faced by Niehbur and his fellow German anti-Nazi émigrés in the United States, who were safe from persecution but powerless to intervene against Hitler.”
The “wisdom to know the difference” is the key.
Too many of us give in without checking in.
We don’t use our wisdom.
Many better advice is from a Mother Goose rhyme from 1695:
- For every ailment under the sun
- There is a remedy, or there is none;
- If there be one, try to find it;
- If there be none, never mind it.
At least with this new slogan, you can sense that you have choice.
With "Divorce with Grace" author Lori Anderson, celebrating my new "Secret Prayer" book and new albums. Note my T-shirt.
If you are backed into a corner, you can choose to see options or you can choose to surrender.
Either way, you get to choose what you accept.
Notice that the new line gives you more power.
You may or may not use it of course.
Creating your own reality is all about choice and awareness.
I am sure you will make the right decision to be the most empowered.
Whether you use it or not will depend on what you accept.
But notice that it’s entirely up to you.
“It is what you accept.”
Ao Akua,
PS – Remember, check out Miracles Coaching to better grasp what I teach.
Member BBB 2003 - 2015
10 Comments
Hi Joe! Just saying how sorry I am for your loss.
Loosing the ones we love is so hard.
Take care:)
Wow. I am VERY impressed that you noted and felt the line in my post about my loss. I am really grateful for you, and your thoughtfullness. Thank you.
Loved both articles on the subject because it brings awareness to the fact that we often repeat phrases without thinking about what we are saying. Like: “Oh, boy! It’s going to be one of THOSE days!” and that sets an atmosphere for the rest of the day for things to go wrong. The “is what it is” line also lets the person take no responsibility for themselves or others. I have had this said to me when I have asked someone for help, and I knew they could help me but he didn’t want to. It was a choice on their part not to help which is fine, but I walked away feeling deceived. Instead of this person being honest and saying, “No, I can’t help you right now,” they used the mentioned tag line like my situation was hopeless. You know what, Joe? “It is what we THINK it is” and my divine connection says: ALL things are possible to him/her that believes! You got me all riled up now to go help somebody! Thanks for the motivation!
You rock, Christine!
This is way cool Dr. Vitale. I love non-resistant sayings. “It is what I accept” does not bring up the “BS” gut feeling. It is very cool and I can not wait to share the link of this post with my readers at http://www.successwithloa.blogspot.com Thank you so much as usually.
With love and wishes for continued success.
Deat Joe,
I think you will like this video about what a Daughter discover on The ashes of Her Dad, is amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T90_RiOXmY&sns=em
I just made your Free Miracle Meditation and I felt so conected, I am so grateful of you in my Life, thank you for being light and Let it shine!
Love
Dear Joe,
I think you will like this video about what a Daughter discover on The ashes of Her Dad, is amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T90_RiOXmY&sns=em
I just made your Free Miracle Meditation and I felt so conected, I am so grateful of you in my Life, thank you for being light and Let it shine!
Love
Wow! That post packed a power punch inside a velvet glove.
I’m one of those who sometimes gets the feeling that the entire Universe is conspiring against me. It can start with something as small as having trouble getting my shoes on (I have oedema and they can be a tight fit). That makes me grouchy and I snap at my family. Next thing you know, everyone’s day has been ruined. When I’m able to laugh something like that off, everybody wins.
However, in thinking a bit more about your phrase, I would go even further: “It is what I accept… at the moment.” This would then give you permission to change, and maybe even a kick in the pants to start changing what you don’t like.
Keep going, Joe, you’re doing a wonderful job.
Love,
Stephen