Will Bowen’s new book is coming out soon. It’s called Complaint Free Relationships. Will wrote the international bestseller, A Complaint Free World, in 2007, and I called it the best book of 2008. I think his new one will become the best book of 2010.
The premise of Will’s work is that complaining is a habit you can change. Why would you want to change it? Because complaining is causing (or attracting) the very thing you are complaining about. Complaining begets complaining.
Depending on what level of awakening you’re on, you’ll either think Will is a sad dreamer or you’ll think he’s an optimistic visionary. I consider him the latter. I love his message so much that I’m a volunteer adviser on the Board of Directors for A Complaint Free World.
Will’s new book focuses on relationships because that’s what virtually all the complaining is about. Think about it. Probably in every situation you can name, the complaint is about another person. And your complaining isn’t helping them, or you.
I just started reading Will’s new book — it’s not out yet, so I’m looking at a pre-pub galley proof — and I’m in awe at his insights and suggestions. He’s making me aware of how I think about other people. Will points out that your thinking leads to your speaking, and your speaking reveals what you’re going to attract into your life. In other words, short circuit the thinking, change the speaking, and you’ll attract a different result.
In terms of my book The Attractor Factor, Will is covering the first two steps in my five step formula: stop before you openly declare what you don’t want (the complaint) and instead speak what you do want (the intention).
In terms of the book I wrote with Dr. Hew Len, Zero Limits, Will is revealing how you are causing your relationships to work, or not. He’s also showing you what to do next.
This isn’t easy. The habit of complaining is so ingrained and so second nature that it feels natural to us. But it’s not natural; it’s just learned. It’s a bad habit that isn’t serving us. It’s time for a change.
As with Will’s earlier work, he challenges us to stop complaining altogether. He asks us to wear a purple band on the wrist and, when we catch ourselves voicing a complaint, change the band to the other arm. The goal is to go thirty days without speaking a complaint or moving that bracelet.
For most people, it takes about six months to go thirty days complaint free. Why? Because it’s that hard to stop complaining. You’ll start each day with the thirty day goal in mind but before long you’ll speak a complaint and need to start over. If you don’t believe me, try it.
Will’s new book is backed with current scientific research. For those who think complaining feels good and gets them results, the documented research proves it doesn’t help at all. It’s a form of self-deception to think complaining changes anyone. It not only hurts others, it also hurts the complainer. It simply doesn’t work.
You’ll be able to get Will’s new book at book stores and of course online on December 29th (my birthday). If I were you, I’d go pre-order a copy right now. And since the holidays are upon us, get several copies for family and friends.
I’m pretty sure they won’t complain about the gift.
At least not after reading Will’s new book.
Ao Akua,
PS — Will’s main site is A Complaint Free World.
PPS – Baby picture above is of me at eight months old. I look complaint free, don’t I?
11 Comments
Learned things from your post. We should stop complaining about things and should start taking actions towards what we want and how we can change ourselves to reach there.
Ravin
Hi Joe, great post. Sounds like a cool book! The good thing about complaining is, that it shows you what things in your life you want to change. And you only complain about things that really could be different! You don’t complain about gravity… So, the new habit could be reverse complaint.. Every time you hear yourself complaining, turn it around and say what it is you really want!
C ya!
Claus D Jensen
I remember when I was a kid and I used to complain all the time. People would say, “stop complaining.” Why is it good for adults to complain but not children?
Then I started working and my boss Hal would come around and say, “How’s it going.” I would say, “Everything’s fine. Can’t complain.” He would joke, “Not much use complaining. Doesn’t help anyway.” It was funny.
But listening to everyone complaining all around us really got me thinking. Why is everyone complaining about the economy, and the job situation, and the weather, and anything else that they can think of? It always makes me think of good ol’ Hal and his insight, “Doesn’t help anyway.”
I will buy this book as soon as it comes out. I do so believe that complaining just attracts more of what you complain about. Just before I started reinventing myself, I complained about everything I didnt want in my life including my husband’s behavior until one day something inside me told me that if I keep complaining, I was going to be more and more miserable everyday. To make a long story short, I read “The secret,” went to a personal development course, started buying Joe Vitali’s literature and I’m on the road to a new me! My husband is pleasing me now with his behavior because I learned that I cant change anyone else but I can change myself to get the results I want in life. I am aware I have alot of cleansing to do but I will perservere until I live the life I deserve.
Thank you Joe Vitali!
haha, “Joey 8 months” awwww, the cutest thing ever!
Thank you for your words. I actually I wrote a post in my blog today about how to stop complaining and turning your negative state of mind into positive…hmm what a coincidence. Only I wrote it in Hungarian 😉
Thanks again, Joe, you are my idol.
Hugs,
Andi
It must be a great book. Our family bought “Complaint Free” bracelets to make us aware of our thoughts and actions. You’re right when you say that complaining feels second nature to us, humans, but eversince we followed your works and bought your programs, we have learned to be more forgiving and grateful for even the simplest things that we take for granted like … a pencil (your story, remember?)
I’m one of the privileged few to say I have nothing big to complain about my relationship with my husband, kids and even parents-in-law. When it comes to marriage, I feel so blessed. We actually just celebrated 11 years of blissful marriage (http://jmjfamily6.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-anniversary-videos.html)
The only major thing we are working on right now is the financial aspect of our life, and we are doing all the clearing methods you have suggested in your programs to get into the ‘game’.
Thank you, Dr. Joe. More power and God bless!
I listened to your Hypnotic Gold interview with Will recently and it changed my outlook. I have often found myself about to complain and changed directions since the interview. I think it makes me happier, and the world can use all the positiveness any of us can add….
Be well!
Andy
http://binauraljourneys.com
I used to complain 4 everything and soon I attracted other situation for complaining.
Since I have stopped and I see the positive side of my life I discovered myself in a new word. Thank you Joe for your books that opened my eyes.
Saver
http://isegretibancari.blogspot.com
Dear Joe,
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! 🙂 And thank you for the books “The Key and The Attractor Factor” !!! I’m writing from Hungary. I whis you every good!!
” I Love You”
Blandi
Dear Joe
I’ve purchased missing secret about 2 years ago , and just listened maybe for few minutes, it was to hard to face it , so I put it away, just not long ago , 2 weeks , I don’t know why , but I opened again this time was able to listen all the tapes, what can I say … I have a long way to go , but this time I am ready
Thank you
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you………..
Dorota.
Dear Joe
I just want to say
Thank you
I am sorry Please forgive me
Love you
Dorota.