It used to baffle me to see people being cynical or negative. It was even more confusing when they were cynical or negative about the Law of Attraction, the movie The Secret, my book Zero Limits, or me.
That never made sense.
But I just had a revelation that parted the clouds and showed me the sanity behind the madness.
In short, people who are cynical or negative enjoy it.
They feel good when they find fault with others.
But why?
"I love you!"
Answer: they get a burst of serotonin in their brain when they feel they are better than someone else.
It’s a status rush.
They are, to be blunt, happily cynical.
But there’s a problem with that “Smiling Pessimist” approach to life.
It all made sense to me when Dr. Loretta Breuning sent me her books. I didn’t (and still don’t) know her, but she dropped me an email and said she was sending me her three latest books, Beyond Cynical, Meet Your Happy Chemicals, and I, Mammal. Each sounded fascinating, and I truly wanted to see them all.
But I had no idea the first one I picked up would blow the lid off my mind and lead to a profound insight into human behavior, mine as well as yours.
LOVING the books of Dr. Loretta Breuning
Beyond Cynical: Transcend Your Mammalian Negativity, grabbed me as soon as I read the back cover copy:
“Cynicism feels good because it triggers the brain chemicals that make us happy. It triggers dopamine by making things seem predictable. It boosts serotonin by making you feel superior to ‘the jerks.’ It stimulates oxytocin by cementing social alliances. Cynicism relieves cortisol as you fight or flee in your mind. Negativity is natural, but you can go beyond it if you choose.”
Wow!
All those negative, cynical people were actually enjoying their tirades because their brain was flooding them with feel good chemicals.
Of course, they had no idea their negativity was a cocaine rush and almost as addicting.
They just felt it was “natural.”
And the more they did it, the more the “happy” chemicals flooded their brain, making them want to continue in the behavior, even when their negativity and cynicism hurt others.
They were addicted to the feeling good that comes from feeling bad.
The problem is, this cynical approach to life doesn’t improve life.
As Dr. Breuning writes in Beyond Cynical, “You may think your outrage serves the greater good, but it is just a habit wired into your neurons. You can do more for yourself and the world by going beyond it.”
Sequel to "Zero Limits" coming January 2014
The good news is that negativity and cynicism can be replaced with something far more healthy, happy, and productive.
After all, as Dr. Breuning points out, being cynical ultimately isn’t helping you or the planet in any constructive way. She says it makes you powerless. A smarter approach would be to train yourself to become realistically optimistic.
It’s called PARE in Dr. Breuning’s world. That stands for Personal Agency and Realistic Expectations. She explains it this way:
“Personal Agency is the awareness that you can meet your real needs through your own actions. Realistic Expectations are the knowledge that rewards are unpredictable, and frustration is not a survival threat. When you PARE, you enjoy the act of meeting your needs instead of lamenting the world’s failure to meet them for you.”
She goes on to explain that you can build a PARE habit “…in six weeks by spending one minute thinking about something good three times a day.”
Sounds easy enough.
I’ve got one minute three times a day.
You probably do, too.
According to the author, though, it may be tough going to overturn an old habit. After all, the neuron highway for negativity may be already paved, and completed before you were six years old. You have to go “off road” a few times to begin to build a new path. Once you do, though, the new habit will have a new highway and your new positive behavior will then be natural and automatic.
Retrain your brain to attract money
I know this firsthand.
Back around 1974, I sat on the steps of the house I lived in at Kent State University, feeling unhappy. A couple walked by, saw me sulking, and the woman said, “You look like the unhappiest man on earth.” I told the story to a college friend who said, “You’re just naturally depressed.”
Today no one says I am unhappy, negative, depressed, cynical or anything of the sort. Over time, I retrained my brain to see the positive in life, and to get my brain chemical rush from optimism. Today people say, “You’re lucky. You’re just naturally happy.”
Hmmm.
I was naturally unhappy once.
Today I’m naturally happy.
Which is true?
“Natural” seems to be something we can create and then it is viewed as natural.
While Dr. Breuning doesn’t talk about the Law of Attraction, she does explain that we get what we expect. She says, “We don’t imagine ourselves sifting the world for evidence that confirms our expectations. But that is what the brain is designed to do.”
Expect the world to be messed up and people bad, and you’ll find evidence for it. Your brain will “attract it” by making it seem obvious to you.
But by the same token, expect the world to be abundant and people good, and your very same brain will “attract it” by filtering out everything that doesn’t match your expectations.
Mammals strive for food, sex, and status, so meeting singer ZZ Ward was a brain rush
One dopamine-triggering later chapter in Beyond Cynical describes all the huge topics many people complain about today — such as climate crisis, economic crisis, and social crisis — and balances them with a more objective and historic overview that proves things today are actually better and getting better.
Dr. Breuning isn’t saying the world is perfect; she admits to problems that need a PARE attitude to resolve. But she says things are better. A cynic won’t see the better, and may never see how to make current issues better. They, too, will get what they expect.
As I pointed out in the book, Zero Limits, and in the sequel, At Zero (coming in January), your brain can’t process all the 11,000,000 bits of data flying at you in every second, so it learns to filter out what you don’t need to know. But the filter it uses is based on what you expect.
What do you expect?
Until you become aware of how your brain works, you will expect what you were already trained to expect. For most, that’s just plain fear. To go beyond it, you need to retrain your brain to see something else.
My mammal side wants you to see my new and improved biceps. Makes my brain happy.
I am loving Beyond Cynical because it is making me conscious of how my brain operates. Much of Dr. Breuning’s book draws from research into animal behavior, which makes sense as we basically are just animals with wallets.
She quotes Robert Ardrey, who said —
“We are not fallen angels, but risen apes.”
She’s not describing animals because they are a model of love, but because they are wired to survive in any way possible, doing things that feel good but that may not actually be good.
That same mammal programming is in you and me. It drives us to food, sex, and status. The insights we gain from her book can make us far more productive, kind, and healthy.
I'm reading this book next
When I want to reach for something to eat, for example, I ask myself if this is what my body actually needs, or has my brain learned that food stimulates chemicals in my system, leads to the happy feeling of survival, and that that stimulation itself feels good?
No animal would think that deeply about food: see bananas, access survival odds of going for them with other monkeys around, and decide to eat and run or just run.
From that new awareness of how my mammal brain is operating, as a conscious human looking at my food choices, I can make a healthier decision.
And as I wrote this post, a part of me felt the serotonin of feeling superior to all the naysayers out there. I enjoyed writing this, because I feel the article is a benefit to mankind as it informs you of books that can make a difference. But I’m very aware that a feel good survival chemical went off as I wrote this for you.
I liked it, too.
Go to this. Click image for details
These three books are influencing my view of the world. I now see myself, and others, as “risen apes.” We aren’t awakened yet. We are still driven by mammalian impulses to keep us surviving. With conscious effort, we can transcend these urges. With these books, you can get a head start.
You can probably draw numerous eyeopening insights about yourself and others by reading Beyond Cynical (and the other books) by Dr. Lorettta Breuning — that is, as long as you aren’t cynical about it.
Her website is Inner Mammal Institute.
Ao Akua,
PS — If you truly want to feel good, expand your mind, and step into the world of unlimited abundance where you don’t have to fight other mammals for bananas, be sure to register for Attract Money Now LIVE. Details at Attract Money Now LIVE!
Member BBB 2003 - 2013
60 Comments
Joe, when are u coming to Houston? ??
Hi Pat. No plans at this time. Why not come to Austin? http://www.attractmoneynowlive.com
Love your stuff, Love you, i always do what you say. now i got the latest book of you (Faith). thank you for sharing your life experiences with others in order to make a difference in their life.
Thank you, Farhang! 🙂
Thanks Joe! This post was awesome. I have this problem with cynics too and it baffles me too. I really appreciate this fresh perspective. It will definitely help me deal with cynics now that I understand where they are coming from!
Thank you, Maryanne! 🙂
Thank you Joe for writing this article. I have been a negative and cynical person most of my life. I am working very hard to change that about myself now. It is not easy but I know I can break the “habit.” I agree completely that we become programmed and that it “feels good” to be cynical. My life is so much more enjoyable with my positive thinking. Thank you. I saw you on The Secret and read The Power by Rhonda Byrne over and over. Also, I am a Secret Mirror participant, soon to be a platinum participant. I am also getting certified in the Law of Attraction. You inspire me every day. Thank you for everything. I hope to someday meet you in Dallas to thank you in person.
Hi Joe,
Hope you respond to my post 🙂 Thank you for everything
Hi Nicole! 🙂
Joe, the book that opened my eyes to brain chemicals and habits/behaviors/patterns etc was Evolve your Brian by Joe Dispenza. Worth a read if you have the time. Also the talk by him is on YouTube, this is 1/8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMN_Sd9qdIE follow the 2/8 etc for the rest. Russ
Hi Russ. Thanks. I read Joe’s books. Good stuff. We’ve spoken at events together. Loretta’s books go deeper and bring in the animal behavior which is what is revealing.
I should have guessed you knew Joe D:-) I will have to read Loretta’s books now. Looking forward to At Zero.
No sweat. I appreciate the reminder of joe’s books. Have a great day!
Hello Joe and thanks as always! No chances to see you in italy?!? Love.
Floriana
I’ll return to Italy one day — soon, I hope. 🙂
Joe, you are very good person and i believe you will stay blessed. Joe Im in South Africa and hope to meet you here for a seminar one day. I appreciate having you in my life. Your enthusiasm motivated me in many ways.
I have read the zero limits book (LOVED IT !!!) and still wonder how do we send a request to the divine for a specific goal ??
Hi Tebogo. You make a request with a simple statement of intent; but remember, the Divine knows more than you about what is best for you. So always allow something better.
Awesome post, Joe!
Hi Florin. Thank you. 🙂
Dear Joe
Just to take the opportunity to thank you very much for the freebies you have offered. Your literature and insights are so helpful and inspiring.
Kindest regards, Julie
Thank you, Julie. I am glad you enjoy them. I’ll send more. 🙂
Hi Joe,
Great guns! Powerful message too. We can re-program and..um….”change nature” 😉 Thanks buddy.
You are very welcome.
Hi Joe, greetings from Poland. I would also like to thank you for the contribution you have in the personal development of others. Loved Zero Limits and looking forward to At Zero!
Thank you, Ania.
How wisely.
Thank you, Joe
Hi Joe Vitale
Thank you very much for the work you are doing .YOU are so blessed ,love every book and coaching from you Johanna from South Africa.
Ta
hey joe,nice article.can you help me to get admission in my favorite college plzzz???
That’s not up to me but I wish you the best.
Dr. Joe,
Thank you for this blog and thank you for being the gift you be to this world.
Chris, thank you so much. Your words keep me going. I am grateful.
Thanks for your blog today, Joe. I appreciate all the things I’ve learned from you. The Ho’oppono technique especially (I hope I’m spelling it right :-))
I have to share something with you – my daughter was recently hospitalized for depression, but she’s doing much better. She was released yesterday. At the same time, another young woman was being admitted, and she was frantic about it. She was protesting very loudly in the room (I’ve seen a lot of these kind of meltdowns through this experience with my daughter, and they’re very uncomfortable to witness).
As she was having her episode, I began using the ho’oppono technique in my mind (I’m sorry – please forgive me – thank you – I love you) over and over again. Within a few minutes, she had quieted down, and the staff were able to speak to her and assist her.
Honestly, I have no idea if that did anything for her – but it did help me, and I’d like to think it helped her. And for that, and so many other things, thank you Joe. Love your stuff. Keep it up. 🙂
Great story, Dianna. Thank you for sharing it.
Gratefully
joe
Greetings Joe! I love your work. I am now reading Zero Limits for the second time and getting more from it. I clean when I think of it. Thank you for this post and letting us know about those amazing books which I will be getting. I love the explanation of cynics! There are a few in my life. I play your healing music often. It relaxes me. Thank you for sharing “YOU” and your knowledge with us! “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you”
Alice
Thank you, Alice.
grazie joe dei tuoi libri.
Dear Joe: I first saw you in the movie secrets and loved the way you came across on screen. Thanks to you, I have read zero limits and practise it.
The LOA, I am yet to get into the groove of it, coz I seem to be attracting ‘What I don’t want’. I badly want to come to Austin in November and am praying that my money situation allows me to do that. I am living in India.
I want to get hold of your new book ‘At Zero’, I downloaded that as my wall paper of my computer.
Pray that Universe will bring the necessary motions into action and bring me to watch you live in Austin.
Lots of love and respect
Subash
Hi Joe,
Really enjoying my Joe injection lately. As I was reading your post it triggered the data presented in “what the bleep do we know” reaffirms we are addicted to our own wash of chemicals. Effectively we reproduce us everyday by filtering the 11M bits into what we are used to in our own lives. We are addicts to ourselves, which is why it is difficult to change thoughts. However that being said, I would like to thank you for the video bonus with The Secret Mirror. The mantra “I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you and I love you” is extremely helpful to stop thinking what I have been thinking and train my brain to think about something else. Gotta go back to the Cleaning!
Namaste
Asit
Hello, I’m new to this and recovering from a traumatic brain injury. I have just been lent Zero Limits by a stranger whom I went to for a therapeutic massage. I’m thinking these leanings should be available in not just schools but preschools and daycares and antenatal classes. Teach babies.
Have you ever been to New Zealand Joe? The very far north is a beautiful place and I can organise a venue for you to seminar from, I shall be the first attendee and probably the massage lady will be the second! Seriously!.
Email me for more details.
I love what you express, Thankyou
Dianne
Yes, I have and it is beautiful there. I’d love to visit again.
Joe,
Nice post. As you like new books there is a great book written quite a few years ago that you might enjoy. It’s called Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman. He has a nice program for moving into the state of optimism. Enjoy. By the way I’m looking forward to the new Zero Limits book.
Love
Cliff
Thanks, Cliff. I read it years ago, maybe in 2006. I like his books.
Dearest Dr Joe. again your message enlightens and inspires. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and learning with the world, and I love that you continue to learn and evolve. I’m currently listening to a Zero Limits seminar you and Dr Len did in Texas several years ago. I have all of the Ho’oponopono and Zero Limits recordings and books and this particular seminar which I only just came across has answered some questions I didn’t know I had. Thank you again, you are a treasure. And I love the personal pics, cute little dog by the way. Thank you, I love you. Sue Girdler
Sue, I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.
Training your brain for happiness, what a concept!
No wonder Mother Theresa was on a continual high. : )
This is a great article, Joe. I’m looking forward to reading Dr. Breuning’s books. It’s also very instructive on how we can train our minds to be happy through self-created positive events.
It’s why I love coaching. The AHAs that both my coaching clients and I get must produce pools of serotonin!
Obviously the same is true for you. You turn people on with your words and music, then you heighten the experiences with more multi-time offers of more and better.
Thank you, Tom! 🙂
Hi Joe –
Maybe I think too much, but…if we witness someone being negative/cynical, isn’t that a part of ourselves projecting the negativity/cynicism?
If so, then would a part of ourselves be getting something out of witnessing it as well?
Sometimes I get a little confused about how it all interacts together.
Thanks for the info 🙂
Hi Barb. You are right. We all have mammalian brains. The idea is to transcend them. I think the books I reviewed will help.
Hi, Joe:
First I want to say thank you for your wonderful programs/books. Attract Money Now and Abundance Paradigm were my favorites – 🙂 Ever since I bought The Secret Mirror, that has been my favorite so far as it actually helps me with what I’ve been trying to do for a long time and that is shift my subconscious thinking.
Also, thanks for this wonderfully written article and the heads up on Loretta Breuning’s books. Your article definitely helps me shift my perspective on cynicism and all the cynical and sarcastic people there. Heck I live with one who has been crowned the King of cynicism and sarcasm. I’m a little embarrassed to say that sometimes I would really like to punch him right in the mouth but of course I fight the urge and I just pretend that it doesn’t bother me so he won’t keep it up! Slowly but surely I’m helping him see the light but man is it hard.
Anyway, thank you very much for all your wonderful work and God bless you for all of your wonderful gifts!
Way cool. Thank you, Marylin.
I have a book I believe your readers will love and I’m going to be giving away free copies on Amazon for anyone that wants one from now through the weekend.
I’m not letting everyone know about this, but since I love your blog so much, I wanted to let you know so you could share this special promotion with your readers.
Here’s a free copy for you to check out to see if it’s something your readers will find valuable.
http://amazon.com/dp/b00ewok94m
Thank you. That is generous of you. I downloaded it.
Great work Joe. Keep up the good work
Hi Joe,
Your books are amazing! In a little rut so I am rereading The Attractor Factor and already feeling that buzz. Thanks for the inspiration. This is my new Bible.
~ Danielle
Thank you, Danielle!
HI Joe, greetings from Portugal.
Please, could you tell me any INTEGROUS Marketeers (like you) that I can see as good mentors?
The field in general I find very non-integrous people (specially on the internet, and I am sure you know all of them)
Thank you to being an inspiration.
Thank you.
Thanks Joe, these books are now on my ‘to read’ list.
Thanks also for your continuing inspiring blog posts.
Regards, Olwen
P.S. Yes, those are most impressive biceps! I laughed out loud when I read the caption to the photo!! :-0
I am sincerely intrigued by the book/concept you discussed. That said, I need to test it for myself.
If the “Law” of Attraction were significant enough to warrant it, one could fill volumes as to why it is mostly drivel. You certainly don’t want or need that feedback from me. If it works for some, more power to them. That said, I do want posit a possible answer to what seems to be a pressing question for you. Your introduction said, “It used to baffle me to see people being cynical or negative. It was even more confusing when they were cynical or negative about the Law of Attraction, the movie The Secret, my book Zero Limits, or ME.” A positive self-image is great, but only a total narcissist could actually write that. You may want to see a “doctor” about that. Then again, it seems to be working very well for you.
Dr. Breuning is right…that felt .