Tag: complaints

Will Bowen’s new book is coming out soon. It’s called Complaint Free Relationships. Will wrote the international bestseller, A Complaint Free World, in 2007, and I called it the best book of 2008. I think his new one will become the best book of 2010.

The premise of Will’s work is that complaining is a habit you can change. Why would you want to change it? Because complaining is causing (or attracting) the very thing you are complaining about. Complaining begets complaining.

Depending on what level of awakening you’re on, you’ll either think Will is a sad dreamer or you’ll think he’s an optimistic visionary. I consider him the latter. I love his message so much that I’m a volunteer adviser on the Board of Directors for A Complaint Free World.

Will’s new book focuses on relationships because that’s what virtually all the complaining is about. Think about it. Probably in every situation you can name, the complaint is about another person. And your complaining isn’t helping them, or you.

I just started reading Will’s new book — it’s not out yet, so I’m looking at a pre-pub galley proof — and I’m in awe at his insights and suggestions. He’s making me aware of how I think about other people. Will points out that your thinking leads to your speaking, and your speaking reveals what you’re going to attract into your life. In other words, short circuit the thinking, change the speaking, and you’ll attract a different result.

In terms of my book The Attractor Factor, Will is covering the first two steps in my five step formula: stop before you openly declare what you don’t want (the complaint) and instead speak what you do want (the intention).

In terms of the book I wrote with Dr. Hew Len, Zero Limits, Will is revealing how you are causing your relationships to work, or not. He’s also showing you what to do next.

This isn’t easy. The habit of complaining is so ingrained and so second nature that it feels natural to us. But it’s not natural; it’s just learned. It’s a bad habit that isn’t serving us. It’s time for a change.

As with Will’s earlier work, he challenges us to stop complaining altogether. He asks us to wear a purple band on the wrist and, when we catch ourselves voicing a complaint, change the band to the other arm. The goal is to go thirty days without speaking a complaint or moving that bracelet.

For most people, it takes about six months to go thirty days complaint free. Why? Because it’s that hard to stop complaining. You’ll start each day with the thirty day goal in mind but before long you’ll speak a complaint and need to start over. If you don’t believe me, try it.

Will’s new book is backed with current scientific research. For  those who think complaining feels good and gets them results, the documented research proves it doesn’t help at all. It’s a form of self-deception to think complaining changes anyone. It not only hurts others, it also hurts the complainer. It simply doesn’t work.

You’ll be able to get Will’s new book at book stores and of course online on December 29th (my birthday). If I were you, I’d go pre-order a copy right now. And since the holidays are upon us, get several copies for family and friends.

I’m pretty sure they won’t complain about the gift.

At least not after reading Will’s new book.

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS — Will’s main site is A Complaint Free World.

PPS – Baby picture above is of me at eight months old. I look complaint free, don’t I?